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Knowing how to stop comparing yourself to others can feel impossible in this social media saturated world.
We turn on Facebook and see the “life mile markers” of friends new and old. We hear where others are in their lives, what they are doing, achieving, believing, pursuing, creating.
Plus, with the motivation from every direction to “live the life you’ve always imagined,” when you see something that someone else has which “you want,” you feel like you’re not doing enough in your life to have it. As if you were being lazy, or just didn’t have “what it takes” to “have it all.”
Ugh, what a terrible, terrible feeling this comparison complex is!
Today, a friend shared the image above with me on Facebook, writing “This is exactly what we were talking about!!”
I clicked over to the original owner of the image and found the One Fit Widow. She was followed by 111,000 people on Facebook – had a rockin’ body, a heart wrenching story, a public speaking career and what appeared to be a successful business model of passive income (her at-home workouts and membership programs).
My heart sank. My mind went haywire. My ego dropped.
“You’re not smart enough to monetize your audience.”
“You don’t have a heart wrenching story – who cares about you?!”
“You think you’re an expert and a representative for women’s empowerment. Who the hell do you think you are? What value do you have to add to anyone else’s life?”
Oh it hurt. It hurt so bad.
And this is what the comparison complex does to me. Perhaps it does the same to you, perhaps it does something a little different but still from the same place of “I’m not good enough,” “why aren’t I there?” “I don’t deserve to even try to be there.”
This episode of *SAMMYD TV is very near and dear to my heart because my entire life I have never quite felt “good enough.” It’s why meditation, affirmations and reading a Course in Miracles has saved my mind from destroying itself.
I’m also reminded: I have what I have, I am who I am, and I know what I know. Staying in a placing of feeling good, ultimately, will allow even more of me, more information, more business sense and audience growth to emerge.
But in a place of feeling not enough, not powerful enough, not successful enough? How’s that going to serve me … ever?
Comparison can be inspiring when we see what someone else has created and witness it as an example of the abundance and prosperity that is available for all. In other words, just because they have it doesn’t mean there’s “less of it” for you.
Episode #8 *SAMMYD TV – How to Stop Comparing Yourself to Others
In episode #8 of *SAMMYD TV, life coach | fire walker | Miss Delaware pageant contestant | all-around kick ass woman Melissa E. Kirk of melissaekirk.com talks raw + real with me about the 5 areas of comparison most women fall trap to.
Social media makes the comparison complex almost a default behavior, but as Melissa shares in this episode, with loving mindfulness of what we are thinking when we compare, we shift back to the love and appreciation we have for who we are and what we are doing that make us happiest right now.
CLICK TO TWEET: “Comparing myself to others steals energy I can give myself. I praise – not “compare”- me today.”
In other words: I don’t have 111,000 followers, but I’m on my way. I don’t have a heart wrenching story, but perhaps that’s a blessing. I live a beautiful, blessed and bountiful life. Why would I want “tragedy” to have triumph?
I’m working on my own business model which makes most sense for me – so I need not compare my business model to someone else’s and I know that if my model doesn’t work, I can move on to the next idea. Cause girl, you know there a ton of ideas floating around in my mind!
These shifts are necessary to stay present in the moment and truly, radically love every single second of our lives. Because life is too short, too sweet, not to love it all.
Because we are more powerful, beautiful and special than we think.
How do you compare yourself to others? In what areas of your life does it show up most? Please share by commenting on this post!